Possibilities

I found my wedding dress! And it's gorgeous...now I just need to figure out the rest of the wedding. The whole decision making process in dress shopping feels similar to figuring out residency rankings. There are tons of beautiful dresses out there so it becomes all about finding the one that fits your style and your dreams best. I can see myself at almost any of the 12 pediatrics residencies where I interviewed...they're all great programs and theoretically I would have a similar experience at any of them. So where should I go? How do quality of global health and Hem/Onc programs factor in? Are you a lace or satin bride? How much does size matter? One thing I did figure out somewhere in all the interview madness is that I do want a Children's Hospital or something very closely approximating that environment.

Outside opinions are not terribly helpful in either decision. The most commonly offered piece of advice in both is to "go with your gut". No matter how valid that is as an answer, it's very difficult to use actively, and it's a little bit terrifying because what if you never get that feeling? Much to my surprise, I did get a little choked up when I finally said yes to the dress, but it wasn't like I had transcendent moment the second I put it on. Similarly, I agree that my general gestalt of a program at the end of the interview day is a more valuable tool than any excel sheet I might make trying to rank different aspects of the program. It's important to feel like you could actually fit into a place and play well with the people around you. Unfortunately, the few people you meet throughout your interview day can really color your feelings about the program and it's impossible to know if they are truly a representative sample. I was really not a fan of my Columbia College tour guide way back in the day, but my other knowledge of the school made me confident that it could be the place for me.

I chose my interview thank you notes based on an Emily Dickinson quote on the cover of the Memento Box, "Dwell in possibility". That's exactly the feeling I'm trying to cultivate right now. 2011 is overflowing with major events...going to Kenya, graduating for med school, getting married, starting residency, hopefully going to the Greek Islands for my honeymoon (damn you Bar Exam)...and it's all incredibly exhilarating. But at some point the myriad possibilities must give way to choices, which will hopefully open doors to even more possibilities. Of course, when it comes to the Match, what I want only goes so far at the end of the day. The programs have to like you too and who knows what else could influence the final outcome. The Match is still kind of a black box to me and there's that element of randomness (or computer algorithm or something) that makes you surrender a lot of control. Stay tuned...all will be answered on St. Patrick's Day...