How do you decide what you want to do for the rest of your life? I know you can change your mind about residency programs (even after you start them, if you must) and certainly any fellowship decisions are still a few years away, but I'm really starting to feel the pressure to make up my mind. This month I'm on my pediatric hematology/oncology ambulatory elective, and it definitely is something I can see myself doing in the future. Not that the elective is everything I hoped it would be...there are three students instead of just one (though they're both friends so it's fun) and there's not all that much for us to do most days. A lot of patients are in the process of being treated so it's hard for students to just jump in and, of course, the chemo protocols are ridiculously complex.
Nevertheless, while I may feel out of place as a student, when I think about what the doctors do all day, their ongoing interactions with patients, their procedures, their research, etc., it certainly seems like something I'd like to be doing long term once I actually know what I'm doing. Fortunately I can still keep my options open...but every day I'm a little more confident in the decision to do a pediatrics residency.
I've certainly seen a range of patients in the last week...from the four month old with the atypical teratoid rhabdoid tumor with an abysmal prognosis (brain tumor + brain surgery + no proven chemo or radiation treatment + young age = bad news) to the 19 year old 3 years out from completion of treatment for Hodgkin's Lymphoma who's doing great. The doctors and nurses are a great support system for patients and families facing a scary treatment and rocky road for the next few years...they offer hope and reassurance. I want to do that. Now if only I could figure out my next few years...
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